Masturbation is a way of thanking the universe for having a body.

A possible misfortune of the movement towards ‘conscious’ sexuality is that it polarises us even more into ‘sacred’ and ‘non-sacred’ forms of sexual expression. There is no such thing. There is only a spectrum of consciousness and infinite possibilities, spanning from familiar habits to endlessly new ways of relating.

Regardless of how we self-pleasure – even when we watch porn or it’s an uninspired quickie – we can begin by taking a moment to bless ourselves, honouring that we are giving ourselves pleasure, and that this is a noble and wondrous endeavour! It’s our birthright! Our prayer of thanks to the universe. We are cultivating the very creative energy that gives expression to life.

And above all, let’s make space for curiosity and allow this is lead the way, rather than feeling like we ‘should’ stray off our ingrained paths. Fuck shoulds – they never work! What are we curious about? How could different, lesser-known body parts lead to even more pleasure? How can states of high arousal be used for magic and manifestation? What is it like, to make love to myself with the same tenderness, heart and passion that I would want a lover to bring? And what is this crazy cosmic joke all about, that the most profound treasures are to be found by going against what every fibre in our body wants to do – and not going for peak orgasm?! Someone up there obviously has a rather twisted sense of humour. But orgasm or no orgasm, let’s see beyond self-judgement and a polarised idea of right and wrong. Just infinite possibilities towards penetration of the self and life’s mysteries buried deep within…